Triath-logs and synchronized spinning: It’s the EU Olympics!
Source: POLITICO
LIFT WAITING — As opposed to weightlifting. Wait for a lift (elevator, to our American friends) in the European Parliament without losing your patience. Plus, you’re completely lost and your boss is calling.
ARTISTIC GYMNASTICS — Aka the Spokesperson’s Service of the European Commission. Contort in extreme ways to avoid answering simple questions from journalists, while maintaining an air of dignified authority.
BOXING — EU civil servants spend eight hours putting documents in boxes between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Then they go home. The next day they return and do it again.
ROBERT POO-MAN — Instead of swimming the famous Parisian Seine, the EU conjures up the same health benefits by holding all water sports in a giant cesspit filled from the Berlaymont’s sewers stationed on the Robert Schuman roundabout.
EQUESTRIAN — Contestants have to fend off packs of wild wolves to protect a pony belonging to the European Commission president. This one has real ancient Greece vibes.
CRYSTAL BALLS — Can you match EU Commissioner for Foresight Maroš Šefčovič, who has consulted the nine EU muses and knows exactly which country will get which portfolio in the next College of Commissioners? There’s only one certainty in Brussels: Šefčovič is forever.
HOUSING MARATHON — In this extreme endurance sport, where races last five years, contestants are put under incredible strain to achieve tasks they have absolutely no competence for.
SYNCHRONIZED SPINNING — Muscly PR professionals duke it out to whip their groups of MEPs into line on a controversial EU law.
The original article: belongs to POLITICO .
